A quick fix against public speaking fear
Hey my friends!
I am sure, everyone of us has been in the situation once, where you attended a huge event, like a festival, a musical, a keynote speech, or anything comparable.
No matter what type of event it was, they’re usually very crowded.
Have you ever imagined, what it would have been like, if the leading person on the stage picked exactly YOU, all of a sudden, and ordered you to speak in front of all the gathered people about a topic that’s important to you?
What comes to your mind, while thinking about this scenario?
Probably a lot of you would say FEAR.
It’s a pity, that so many of us have grown up and gone through a school system that, most of the times, didn’t teach them the right skills and mindset for presenting and speaking excitedly, so we would learn that public speaking is nothing to be afraid of. But nevertheless, only 1 out of 20 people do it on a regular basis, after they exit high school.
If you view it as a tool to become more confident and self-conscious, there are no mistakes at all which you could make, because every experience will either be a big win or you’ll learn something from it.
Let’s for example say, public speeches are similar to skydiving.
How can I claim that?
First, you and your friends decide to do it while having your weekly beer at your favourite bar. You’re all laughing and excited. “Haha, of cooooouuurse we’re gonna do it. Laalaalaah” — Then the day you decided to do it comes closer and closer. In the morning you wake up, hoping that one of your friends got sick over night and you have to reschedule or quit the jump. You sweat even more as the minutes go by. Then they pick you up by car, you all drive to the tiny airport and after some instructions, you take off the ground. After 20 minutes of sweating, shaking knees and thinking, what could go wrong, the decisive moment comes.
Usually, you do a Tandem-jump with a professional. He opens the door of the plane. You look into the pure ground. And then they count: ONE!! TWOOO!! — and then they push, because many people tend to hold back when they count THREE. So they trick you and jump when they counted to TWO.
The first moment, you are: “WHOOOOOAAAAAA” — You’re breathing heavily! You never opened your eyes so widely.
And after 4 to 5 seconds — you start getting in harmony with the situation. A constant speed sets up. You feel like the air holds you back and slows down your body a little bit while falling. So congratulations, this is the second you realised that this is one of the most beautiful moments of your entire life.
After 3 to 5 minutes, you land safely on the ground after they opened the parachute. You are concurrence for King Kong now, because you hit on your chest so hard with both fists and you’re claiming that you’re indeed the KING of this world!
One question still remains: Why have you been so afraid, when it was so beautiful in the end. What did you need that fear for? — It was just useless actually.
With public speaking it’s simply the same! But instead of being excited, we are often so fearful of making mistakes, for something embarrassing to happen and being laughed at. Then you prepare a speech, the day comes closer, you’re most nervous on the final day. Every passing minute makes your knees shake even more, especially when the audience is big.
And then you go on stage, you’re performing, and in 99,9% of the times, nothing will happen, except you’ll deliver a speech that gives you a reference experience. The audience will applaud. You feel great because you did it. You feel like the KING of this world, because you took action despite fear. You possibly talked about a topic that matters to you, and this gave value to the people listening.
So instead of being afraid of being recognised for a possible fail on stage: What if these exact situations were the ones you could benefit from the most?
Tony Robbins talks a lot about belief. He is convinced that every human being steers their life through their thinking about what they are.
There’s this one example that he mentions in his book “Awaken the Giant within”: The belief of man about something is built like a table.
The table itself stands for the belief system. The table columns stand for the reference experiences that led this person to think in a certain manner.
For example: if you’re a man in his 20s who never had success with the opposite gender, chances are high that you just made a lot of negative experiences in this field. Maybe you’ve been rejected or friendzoned a lot by girls in the past, let’s say 50 times and you’re still a virgin.
Probably, what you’re thinking right now sounds like: “I’ve tried so hard and with so many girls now. Without success. So maybe I am just doomed to never get a great girlfriend / wife / whatever kind of relationship I want, lah dee daa”.
In all honesty, dude! There are around 7,6 billion people soon living on this planet. Half of them are female! And you think that you have no chance of getting a good girl because you failed 50 times? 50 girls out of 3 million possible partners? Maybe you try out a different way of approaching!
Do you know how long it took Edison to invent the first model of the light bulb? — 10.000 times. If he gave up, believing that he’s a loser and he could never do it, we would maybe still light every room today with candles!
I hope you get the message. The imaginary guy that I mentioned “believes” he’s not worth of having a phenomenal relationship with a woman. And so, this is the result he gets over and over again.
If he changed his thinking to “Ok, I’ve tried 50 times, but I only learned 50 ineffective ways to convincing a girl that I’m worth dating”, he’d instantly get different results and soon meet the girls he truly wants in his life.
The same exact thing might hold you back from becoming a well speaker in front of an audience. You might have made 5, 10, 50, maybe one-hundred experiences where you sucked, because you thought you’re not a good presenter. The seeds you spread, are the fruits you get. But if you change that one little thought inside your head, saying you’re not really able for this, and switching to a mindset of “Ok, I can change everything by starting to gain positive experiences. No matter what happened before, the past doesn’t equal the future.”
You are responsible for building your “table”. For gaining your experiences. For everything in your life. If you want to develop a skill, don’t hesitate.
So, if you want to become a better public speaker and turn down the fear of it, you will need to start right away. Do not wait another day. Go out there and register for an event where you can give a speech voluntarily. Sign in at a speaker’s club like “Toastmasters”. They’re existing
